Chapter 14 Thought process.

Meant to be…

The real love story of the unreal 21^st century!

By, Veera.

said Paulo Coelho, my most favourite author. But I didn’t wish for any dream, but reality. Wishing for your first love to fade away like the autumn wind was not a dream it was an agony; pure, strong agony that could never be healed. But I did, I wished for his memories to not fade away, but to just vanish in a second because my entire body, mind and each nerve and bones were exhausted, as the ultimate hell of a teenager’s life would be losing your first love or so I had always thought.

It had been almost a year since we had parted ways, he parted from me and maybe it was the time to talk, to settle things between us because with this consistent longing for someone who’s not worth it, was just a waste of time. I needed to concentrate more on C++ than Sri++, but my brain thought other wise. Java was no more interesting, it was rather infuriating than earning my interest to learn more. And it was not just because of love.

“Ping” (Message notification)

My dad took the phone and he read the message. His eyes widened, my heart was pounding while I was biting my nails.

“Shaina, your scores are too good”, congratulated my Dad.
Yes, it was not a message from Sri. Yes, I had scored well thattime, ‘that time’? Because I had been depressed about him in the past and  could not concentrate on studies but  since I heard that he had moved on, I decided to concentrate on my goals too. It was tough, it was hard but it was not impossible to look after myself and not trouble my own body and mind for someone who was not there; literally. Life has to move on after all. I tried messaging him but he didn’t care to reply. I was devastated to be honest but not anymore, at least not to the world.

“My daughter will have to become an IRS officer, her future will be contented!”, revealed my father.

“Vijay, she is ‘our’ daughter, let me also decide for herself”, my mother had interrupted.

“Don’t I have the liberty to decide for myself”, I put forth my prosecution raging from upstairs. 

“Well, let us hear what you would like to become then”, said my dad in a calming voice.

 “Well, Dad and Mom for now my only aim is to try and work hard and accept that extreme toil and find a way to become Shawn Mendes’s girlfriend.”

The room filled in extreme laughter as I was smiling from the outside.

 

I could not dare either to talk to Shaina or to let go Riya. I was terrified on what would Riya do if I ever left her, but it is not love, it never “was” and it would never be. Human mind is a complex machine, I must say. It’s a bundle of uncertainty.  Uncertainty in life, goals and in love.

 

 I didn’t reply to Shaina nor have I had the guts to take the phone and call her. ‘What will I say ? That I’m doing favours to Riya on pity?’ I kept asking this question to myself.

 

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