Chapter 2 Book 2

“Meant to be”

The WebNovel…

…His eyes meant to say “I’m Sorry”

I looked away as the song ended. When the Signal finally went “green” my eyes were still wet. His eyes still hoped for mine to forgive him but while my heart was still heavy. Eyes still mushy, I felt difficult to see anything but was determined to leave that place.

Raising the accelerator, I marched forward. I knew that he was following me, probably thought to pursue me; having had to narrate his part of the story right from the 12th farewell party at Sahil Anna’s house. But, it was too late for a formal explanation and an apology. 

We were almost travelling parallel on the Road. And when I looked back and he looked forward, our eyes stuck in the moment. His, seeking forgiveness and mine expressing disappointment, whilst hands controlling each other’s vehicle. That instant, I felt like the world moved slower, as though the whole planet’s rate of circle around the sun paused for us. That 30 seconds was personal, it was our moment of ‘privacy’, that I was completely satisfied with; just his presence in the whole wide world.

The anger, the despair and all the bitter feelings in my heart had vanished. I only felt love.

I relived the feeling that I went through when he helped me with the scooter and how he managed to make sure that I reached safely. The butterflies that I had when his hands touched mine whilst he fought with me to steal my ribbon re-entered my body. That look of expectation which filled our hearts and eyes with love and convincing feelings overwhelming through our eyes stroked the heart again. Falling in a well of mystic love that numbed the thoughts had almost frozen my brain that time. Two years of utter longing and agony to hear his voice, to be spell bound by those striking eyes finally had come to an end. Before I could break the ice and cry to him that I had always needed him more than I ever knew, I got hit and I was thrown in the air. Because he was right next to me, just one ft. behind, that car hit him too, leading to fall, this time the fault was not his. That moment was dramatic. Our eyes were still on each other. I almost saw death taking me over and I
thought,

“Why wouldn’t he leave me in peace even at death? And why the hell am I living the song??? (Thalli Pogathey!!)”

I didn’t know what happened but I passed out in a minute after that. And the last thing I had seen was his eyes.
A day and a half after that, I woke up. I felt as though I was haemorrhaging inside the brain. I couldn’t see anything. My ears hurt with every sound that I heard. I passed out again. And after four hours, I regained consciousness. Then, the head hurt a little less and I could hear much better. Still, my vision was blurry. But, I had complete consciousness then. I did not speak a word. The first thought that hit the mind was, if he was okay. I needed to figure if he was fine. Without my request or want, someone helped me get up and made me lay on the pillow. I sat there, half slouching, and put my head hanging. My head still hurt for about 10 minutes. I had my head on the edge of the bed as it felt better. Rubbing my forehead I told Sara hoping that it was her, who helped me with laying back;

“Sara, I need to know if Arjun is ok” and I gave a pause saying that. 

“And try as much not let my parents know, use my card for the bills” and continued “If Appa gets to know, he will ground me forever”
She did not speak back. It felt weird.

“I’m okay and your parents already know”

“Hmm…” I said initially with a peaceful sigh.And then my brain went “Eh…”

I looked up, only to find him, standing right in front of me. I was short of words. But, I was relieved that he was fine. He came nearer and sat beside me. The red coloured stool made a funny noise and was seemingly in need of a quick replacement. As I did not intend to make eye contact, I decided to scan the room. My clothes were all neatly arranged in the half closed cupboard. My then most expensive possession, Fast track watch was shattered; I could barely find any needle in it. Appa’s ring that I used to wear and which I still wear along the chain was scratched. I only had the hospital gown on; which did not cover all the length of my first-time waxed legs. That heavy, gaudy smelling blanket that I could never forget annoyed me so much. My head suddenly hurt again. I had bruises all over the hands, head and my left leg got fractured. I was slouching again. I felt awkward to stay that close to him. It was awkward and sadly strange. That man, who was once my favourite boy in the whole world, was part of my day, night, was also the cause of my laughter and the inducer of my tears.

He was my Sun, and then I almost felt like Pluto.

Like I needed and destined to stay away as far as I can, from my very own Sun. Love was round the corner in my life but my heart was so not ready for heartbreak again.                                                                                                                                                   
Days passed. The doctor had suggested a week in hospital but I pestered Arjun and we were going to discharge that day. He was packing everything while I sat there, on the bed not knowing what to do.
“I’ve talked to Sara and she is handling situations at home” he said.

“Thank you” I made sure to make it sound as ignorant and as annoying as possible. 

“And the Doctor said that your recovery rate is quite good. So, don’t stress. It should not take more than a couple of weeks for you to return to your regular schedule,” he said with such concern and I only nodded my head in reply.
 
“You should not be worrying about the notes too. I can tutor you,”

“If you would like that” he said hesitantly. And those words made me furious. I was so angry that I instantly had enough energy to smash his head against the creepy window that made funny noises every time he opened them. His vision annoyed me and so did his words.

“Enough of your drama Arjun, you are really getting into my nerves”

“What?”

“I said stop all this nonsense now! Stop acting like you care, stop acting like you know and stop acting like you are innocent! Stop this bullshit!”

“Do you even hear what you are saying?”

“Well, Yes I do!” I started screaming at him. I was so ferocious that I did not think while I uttered those words.

“I know that you used me just because you were so sure that I had feelings for you”

“Used you?” he grew even more ferocious.

“Yes! If it is not real, you wouldn’t have left me without even caring to let me know that bloody valid reason. You thoroughly enjoyed my company as long as you could and left like anything”

“Shaina you’re words sounds like absolute nonsense”

“Nonsense?” he was about to be killed!

“Well I think so” I could sense a bit of “taken aback” in his voice. 

“Leaving me at the balcony, waiting and waiting for you was nonsense to you wasn’t it?”

“What?”

“For two fucking years, I have been crazy; gone mad just because of the pain you have caused me,”

“You were waiting for me?”

“So you didn’t even care to show-up?”

“No I did show-up”

“So you did come there, and saw me waiting for you and just didn’t care to say that you were moving?”

“It was not that simple Shaina”

“Well, how difficult was it to break the heart of an idiot who fell head over heels for you?”

“I came there that night hoping to confess how I felt about you. But, when I came there, I saw you with a boy. He was wooing you and you seemed to be enjoying his company. And only after that I saw your Instagram messages, I understood that it was you cousin, Harsh.”

“What? So you saw the messages and did not care to reply and still decided to be in an affair with Riya?”

“Affair?”

“Oh please Arjun, the whole college knows about you guys!”

“And you believe so too?”

“Like you believed that I was with some boy at the balcony?”

“You know that these circumstances aren’t the same Shaina”

“On what criteria are distinguishing them then?”

“Riya is leaving the college. She knows that I still have feelings for you. She thinks that it wouldn’t be good for her to stay around.”

“So now, you guys are doing me a favour”

“What do you want, Shaina?”

“I don’t want to see you Arjun fucking Venugopal; I don’t want you near me”

“That would be impossible”

“You have made me suffer so much that the scars flash right in front of me when I even try to think of our good times”

“It was all a misunderstanding Shaina. We did not have a regular bonding to let you go that easily. Even if I let you go, memories won’t. Do you really think that I have been happy these two years?”

“Well, I certainly believe that you have been so content with your affairs” I said, with a tear dropping down though I tried so hard to hide it. 

To be continued… 

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Meant to be…

Book 2 Chapter 1

– Veera.

October 2017

“Shaina, please be careful with those Ceramic vessels for Christ’s sake!” my Mum almost cried. 

“Sejal, don’t you know that she has registered the ‘patent’ for being the clumsiest?” Appa then joined in mocking me. Dust was dissimilated all over our new Chennai apartment and Appa did help in between his mocking and supervisioning us to arrange things. 

“Premam hasn’t left my mind yet papa” said Appa.

“Appa I haven’t forgotten about that movie too, hasn’t Nivin rocked that Character?” 

“I think yes,” he said and added; “Here let me give you a hand with it,” and we together pushed the TV table towards the wall. 

“Amma where should I put this pot?” I had to sort the immediate doubt of mine, because that plant bore beautiful Table Rose and I could not resist them. 

“I want them in my Office room” Appa barged in! 

“I want them in the hall or in the portico,” Amma had to make her point of argument. 

“No, I actua;ly want them in the Balcony; Pa, it would be perfect for our Saturday evenings, what do you think?” I made my point and Appa could not agree less. 

“This Father-Daughter bond has become your biggest flex Shaina!” my Mum had to utter her thoughts. We could only laugh and it was also a flex to be a single daughter. You see, I literally got the best of both the worlds, Mum’s pamperings and Dad’s privileges. 

“Well, having Ram brother here has become my biggest flex,” said Appa for Sara and her father, my occasional guardian, ‘Ram Uncle’ helped us with all the “Shifting” and “Arranging” things. 

“It’s almost 9 pm, better eat up now, else you both will be late for college tomorrow.” said Amma.

“Yes, we should.” Appa agreed. 

“And I can’t wait to drive a Vespa to College tomorrow dad, I’m extremely excited I actually love you. Thank You pa.” I said tucking in the blanket, pulling it up, till my nose. 

“Love you more papa, and now sleep. You have college tomorrow, I have Office tomorrow,” Appa said, his yawn making it obvious that he was so tired. 

After three months of College and Arjun and Sara and Akshay and Ruby; my dog brother, I was exhausted already. My inner-self kept on teasing me for growing mad whenever I saw Riya with Arjun, “Do you still love him?” was the constant question that my absurd mind kept asking me, 

“I’m not” has been my constant answer. I had to convince myself with such an answer. That phase of life was cruel, I had been feeling as though I was being haunted.

Haunted, by the fear of the future? What was I going to become, which profession was I going to choose?
How in the hell was I going to forget Mr Arjun Venugopal? And to top all that, how would I keep pretending like I had so much hate for him when I actually didn’t, when he was right around the corner, showing so much love, or that’s how I felt. At that phase of life, it was so challenging. I had to find myself wherein I was constantly pushed in the ocean of  messes. It was strange.

It was November. Of all the seasons that the Almighty has bestowed us upon it was the month that I hate, winter. You wake up to your alarm and you cannot dare to indulge in a morning bath to start your day. The cold reins you. The fog invites you to dance with it by its beautifully delicate feathers and alluring body like a dead-drop beautiful hot guy. But you only realise that it’s freezing cold when you take his hands. Instead of savouring your soft striking palm, the cold brings terrible agony! And so did him. Every time I saw him talking with Riya, I was pissed. I was so pissed that I could’ve killed him.

It was a Thursday. Sara had gone to Coimbatore that morning early around 8 AM as she had a family function. So I had to hit the college alone.  I tried as hard as I could to reach the college before 9.30 am but couldn’t. Waking up at 8.45 am certainly didn’t help much. And eventually, I got stuck in the traffic. I was wearing a Mustard-yellow and green top and ankle length denim, Yes, I had an awesome ‘Fashion sense’.

Whenever I had time, I never forgot to stop and cherish Appa’s gift. He had bought me a lavender Vespa. And like any girl would, I loved it and cherished it as long as I could. I remember teaching Sara two-wheeler driving. The neighbourhood had a number of stomach aching laughter as we ended up falling on the road once in every two days. I had also once taken Ruby to the Vet on it. Nobody could take their eyes off Ruby; he was an adorable Golden Retriever, who Appa, Amma and I loved dearly. And it’s significant to mention that he saved us from being robbed a couple of times as the burglars were scared of Ruby’s majestic appearance and his tissue-harming, deaf-making loud bark. Neighbouring Cheche stopped offering Puttu as her sleep pattern got interrupted because of Ruby’s incessant barks. It’s quite a funny story, Ruby’s. He makes a single bark and the dog at the street end barks twice, then he barks thrice and the Dalmatian in the next street joins the “I will not let you sleep” pack. And this story continues with me, shouting at Ruby every day. Half of my pocket money vanished buying him Drools. I should have raised him more humble and grounded. Even that day, he was having his breakfast when we left the house. We were discussing Ruby’s weird behaviour whenever he met Geetha Aunt’s Mini. His eyes grew wide whenever he saw her, they probably Zinged and I shouldn’t have let him watch that movie with me.

 It had almost become past 15 minutes in the traffic, in exhaustion, I was exasperated. To elevate my ‘happy mood’, Thalli Pogathey” my ‘then’ least favourite song was playing at the adjacent Tea shop’s radio.  I felt like an inflated balloon. Every part of my body felt so inflated and I wanted the world to stop messing with me. All that popped up in my mind at that time was that, of all the songs that the Cinema had produced, they had to play this song??!!!!

Hearing that song, memories flooded right back into the head. Standing there at the signal, carving for the signal to go green, I had a difficult time thinking about the past.

The clouds surprisingly reminded me of him. In the past, he was my Sun, without him, I wouldn’t bloom. Soon, he left me. And thus, I thought he came as the Clouds, disguised.

I remember that instant, the clouds were too heavy and they were growing dark. The weather became too cold and gloomy, while we were all stuck in the traffic! Everyone was concerned about reaching schools, colleges and offices on time but, still we had to wait for the bloody signal. With the cold setting in, the breeze gliding through the trucks, buses, cars and the School girl’s cycles; it reached me, it was a strong breeze. I felt that intensity; it touched me with the subtle but bewitching fragrance of the rain. I felt like Mother Nature was aiding me with the breeze, so that I won’t fall back to the past again. The leaves of the whatsoever trees left on the sidewalk danced to the breeze’s rhythm. Birds were seen all over the sky. They must have been in a hurry to find a good, warm place. They must definitely try Trivago though. Dogs were rushing in search of a safer shelter as it had almost started thundering. I was starting to get scared because I hated and I still am afraid of thunder and lightning. The cold breeze became chillier and the song was still on. And as the rain started pouring, I could sense every drop that poured, it washed away all the moisturizer that I had on. I promised myself to henceforth watch the weather broadcast before proceeding with the skin care routine.

The pleasing sound of the rain drops crashing the leaves and the school children laughing and screaming inside the school bus were the only consolation. Their laughter replaced the anxiety of the existing reality of the world.The Tea Shop Anna tuned up the volume. Me, drenching in the rain, forgot about college and the Python class. All that I was thinking about was him, and how I once used to crave for this song. We used to listen to this song as though it was written, sung and composed for us. Unknowingly, I started to sing along whilst admiring the sky and its cry. Suddenly, I felt tears falling down the cheeks. The song meant so much to me. In utter despair, I cried. I felt the physical pain in my heart. The stress got hold of my throat that it started to feel as though someone had put on a clamp in my throat. In addition to the mist and raindrops almost hiding the vision, the eyes filled with tears resembled the “hot tears” of Toru Dutt. With the dreadful agony and frustration, slithering deeper and deeper into heart, the eyes caught him. He was also there at the signal, only 10 feet apart. With all the hurt and anger and pain I looked at him, throwing r
esentful words in that look. His eyes seemed mushy too. Maybe he regretted what had happened in the past, or so I
read from his silent words. His eyes meant to say,

 “I’m Sorry,”

But, I was not sure if I could forget all that had happened. 

And Suddenly, “Shaina” shouted a voice from behind, and when I looked through the incessantly falling rain drops, nerve wrecking cold and the mist; it was Akshay! 

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To be continued next weekend…

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**© V.Shilpa and https://shilpasrecitals.com/, [2021]. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to V.Shilpa and https://shilpasrecitals.com/ with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.**

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Author’s Letter.

Author’s Letter.

Meant to be… Book 2!

Meant to be… Book 2!

Chapter 18

Meant to be…

The real love story of the unreal 21st century!

– Veera

“Time heals everything”, so does words and the hope that it gives. But as the time heals a phase of life, soon the next peril arrives and that is life at its best actually. Life is, to be honest a testimony; just like Job’s. (From the Bible) When we all feel relived after 10^th grade; a bumpy long road that kills our spine comes ahead in the name of 12^th grade. And along with it, the pressure to join a reputed college elevates BP. And when we think we can sit back and rest for a while, the reality strikes at you in the hardest way possible. That happy, care-free life is long gone and buried deep down in the earth’s crust with the end of high school. And to top all this, many of us fall in love. How stupid of us? Though we have our parents who love us and take care of us and pay our entire bloody fee; we still tend to look for something more, someone special to literally add the spice. and that is quite… ridiculous.

I was not sure if the time has ‘healed’ but it definitely had past rather too swift like the hot potato Bonda on a Monday morning. I was in the mid-third year and was in fact making up my mind to let go the past for good, to look for a; say ‘productive’ college years. (Well I meant two) But to the contrary, everything was different to what I had actually thought of. Shaina was with me… well, in the same college as mine and in the department as mine and right next to my class but still, we are apart like a million miles away. Man the girl had so much grudge, she had not even given a peek at my innocent face, even not at my handsome side profile. It was not like that I’ve hurt her with words, I’ve actually disrespected her emotions, I should have valued them; instead I ignored them. And like an old saying, I was facing the tantrums of my weirdo as the consequence of my action, of my misconduct. Almost everyone in the civil department knew about us and on a surprising note, I was friends with Kanishk as we had sorted things out.

“Dev, be prepared to stand in the student body election coming year da,” said Ragu when I was almost crashed in Chennai traffic.

“Ragu, my brain hurts to understand your interest to wander in such high spirits” I said while signalling the uncle who was literally abusing me in Chennai slang. Lucky he, “RE baby” didn’t get hurt.

“Don’t you really get agitated with the traffic?” I had the need to spit it out because of his incessant wail like a four year old to go out and hit the streets all the time.

“Dude I love to have it all while it lasts” I really couldn’t crack his words.

“Man, what do you mean?”

He giggled a little. And soon realising that I really didn’t get it, he flushed out his thoughts.

“Soon after Shaina forgives you, the only person that’s always ‘on’ this baby, will obviously be her. So until the bhabi arrives forgiving all your sins, let me bless your baby”

He said ‘baby’ referring to RE. Well we had named her Papa. His words were indeed soothing but, I hoped that she will someday change her mind as to accept me. I had become her Lochinvar. she had become my Ellen. I had misunderstood her brother for the coward suitor. Her father, the king doesn’t even recognize me. I had wooed her already for sure. I certainly don’t have many young women waiting in France and England who I’ve mesmerised with my striking abs nor do I have them. I palpably didn’t have a steed, instead I had my papa. Before I could ask her hand in, well for the dance; she refuses me sighting my misinterpretation that I had done earlier. I was uncertain if she would come with me, listening to my whispers lending her ear only to perceive good deeds. She would let me down and the guards and kinsmen would caught me, they will probably have me as their captive. The coward suitor would arrive at me with his shining and pointed sword, then I’d be certain that the Suitor is not Harsh it’ll be someone else. But who the hell must it be? Before I can figure it out, the alarm strikes, I meant Arathana by alarm, my customised alarm.

“Don’t you have a life?”

“Well if ‘you’ had one, I wouldn’t have to wake you up every morning like a baby and certainly wouldn’t be having this conversation at all”

“How about… you quit being my alarm and carry on with your majesty’s schedule?”

“How about… you get up at least by 8 AM and Mum wouldn’t pester me to be your nanny”

“Nanny?”

“Yes, now get up, make your bed and go get a shower, you stink!”

“Bloody get lost before I smash your head”

“Maa, Sridev is hitting me for waking him up,” she said and did not forget to mock me as always saying “Die brother”

“Huh???” I bashed a look at Arathana.

“Ma, she is a liar”

“Enough of you both” Ma was then screaming in utter disappointment and terrible anger.

“Get ready before I literally send you both off for an adoption”

“Ma I’ll adopt Arathana, let her be my baby sister, I don’t see hope for this hulk” grins Ragu making his way in.

“Probably an aristocratic Coimbatore family will come up for the adopting this hunk”

I could not hold back my laughter. We both marched into my room while Amma and Arathana stood there, puzzled.

I told Ragu about the dream and all that he could do was, just listen. After all, he was not the Joseph, the dream reader.

I was curious to work out who that suitor would be though. I had put on my favourite red shirt. I had a fancy diet of two egg whites, a tall glass of orange juice. As soon as I had reached the college, I’d have all the bondas, vadas and more.

I had never asked for a guy in my life, nor did I need anybody. He was a gift that I didn’t ask for and so he left before I could ask him to stay. My life had changed in the past couple of years. I was certainly glad that it all happened. I would not wish to change anything from the past. I never wished to pursue engineering. I, to be honest did not know what I wanted or in what I was good at. But, I had made up my mind to relish and decide. “I have got a lot of time to think”, I had told myself that, though I knew that I certainly didn’t. I had secured good grades and got placed in a reputed college and I was almost all set. All that I needed to do was to figure my destination, to commence my journey. I knew that I was late but it was better late than never. “What could be my special talent? Will it be art, or song or dance, which Appa totally hates? Or could it be oratory? Or could it be engineering itself? Will I be able to find life in the bricks and sand and cement? Will I be able to find pleasure in stacking them? Will I find peace in building people’s safe place?” Well, I had to wait and figure. And another significant peril to figure, was “him”.

‘How can I ignore him while he was right in front of me? How can I not fall all over again when my first heart break is trying so hard to match the strings? To make the ends meet?’ Phew! I had a lot of questions in me and that was evident. Where do I seek for the answers? Where shall I go, get back my inner peace? Who the hell invented love? Or how on earth I became too stupid to fall for its lullaby?

Appa had his mushy eyes when he left me in the hostel. Amma and Kanishk stayed home because Appa was sure Amma would become too emotional. I was in fact so strong. Why? I don’t know. I had a sense of ‘safe haven’ feeling inside me. I didn’t know why. I still felt so strong and safe being here, in a strange place and the change was good, unless it was because of his presence.

“So, it’s not because your best friend is with you?” rages Sara after listening to my thought process. As I do not have anyone to share this complication with, it is either Sona or Sara who’s babbling with me.

“Baby, it’s not like that and you know it”

“I hate this committed people. You guys just forget friends in a fraction of a second.”

“I’m not” I said, almost in tears.

She has been so vulnerable these days, as delicate as a butterfly’s wings. But when will she realise that her wings are not to be kept shut and protected; instead it’s given to her to tear the clouds and fly and explore. Yes, she may fall down, break a wing, but she will learn to mend and fly again. She is delicate but if she realise that her strength is that delicacy, she’ll rule her world like Lara Cameron. One can wish for Noah, Ollie and even Jack. But be sure that you are their Allie, Madline and Rose who stood by them through all the odds, through conjecture, through mistakes, through doubts.

As we were rushing to the class, many were hushing about a new student who was about to join us, after two months since the commencement of the academic year. I wondered why he/she was joining us now; I mean who would be this late?

“Before all that I’m glad that we made our entry before the bell went off” I sighed at Sara.

“Shaina, lets ditch dinner today and go out, okay?”

“Okay” we squealed as we both love food and we definitely missed Sona.

As soon as the Python class commenced, the new guy joined in, yes, it is a guy. He is short well, not 180 cm, he’s got abs, not family pack. He’s slim and chick. And that side profile! These were all Sara’s thoughts not mine. She pestered me to invite him for the night’s dinner. I hesitated but could not stand her pestering.

“Hey, listen. Welcome to SSN (I said as though my grandpa owned the bloody institution) and I’m Shaina and this is Sara”

“Why don’t you join us for tonight’s dinner?” I had asked with a warm smile.

“Hi, I’m Akshay. Nice to meet you all, I would love to join you” he said smiling. That jaw line could kill people.

We both smiled, shaking hands. Sara was burning, inside.

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**© V.Shilpa and https://shilpasrecitals.com/, [2019,2020]. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to V.Shilpa and https://shilpasrecitals.com/ with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.**

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Chapter 17

Meant to be…

The real love story of the unreal 21st century!

By, Veera.

 

I felt like that I was surely, a lucky lad. But, it was intriguing. Why should we both end up like that? That was purely going to be awkward. Riya was crazy about me. Though she said that she was only ‘friends’ with me, I certainly did know how she felt.

And the truth was, I couldn’t help her agony. I couldn’t reduce nor could I avert it.

Love itself was strange and befogging just like ‘life’.

And the funny part was, some banish love for life and some tend to see both alike as if they were the bones and muscles that make the human body,  ‘one and whole.’

Life for many is to study hard and get placed in a reputed company, earn a dignified salary package. Life for some is to earn enough money to afford their children’s school fees. And Life for some is to find a piece of bread to fill the stomachs of their family.
Life and the perceptions are discrete for each and every soul. But love, it’s the same.
The young guy aiming to earn as many as he can to make a good living for his wife and children is ‘love’, the hardworking fathers’ concern about his children is ‘love’, the poor man’s lamentation to satisfy his family’s basic need is also ‘love’.

A perfectly  normal guy would say that the sun rises to commence the day. But a ‘crazy guy’ in love would say that the sun raises everyday so that he can enjoy his lady love’s eternal beauty in the glorious sunshine. Love makes one mad, unrealistic and also light-hearted.

For me, it drove me psychic. I didn’t know if I had to concentrate on studies or Shaina and I even doubted if I  could do both.
Of all the colleges in Coimbatore, her father wanted her to study in Chennai. Of all the colleges in Chennai she joined in SNN and of all the bloody departments, she enrolled
in Civil.

“I was happy that day when I saw her as I knew that she’s going to be under my roof literally, but now I’m in some sort of dilution” I had sighed to Bhuvi.

“Well, do you realise that you are also in love?” smirked Bhuvi.

“Riya is not my cup of tea nor have I ever considered her. She is a great girl I wouldn’t suit her” I disclosed to Bhuvi.

“So Shaina isn’t?” Bhuvi seemed a little annoyed for some reason that’s strange to me.

“It’s not that easy to expound Bhuvi. I love Shaina, I’ve realised it now. The moment I saw her in that signal, inside that car crying, I fell for that weirdo all over again” my voice turned dense.

It was Riya whom I was worried about. I could not afford to see that girl risk her life again and if that happened, I wouldn’t be happy with myself as a friend and as a human being. I wished to tell Shaina all that had happened and sort things out. I needed to first figure where she was staying and whom she was with.
‘Man it’s going to be fun if she’s with her parents.’ I had thought to myself.

I couldn’t wait to look into her dark dusky eyes, hold her pinkish soft glowing cheeks in my hands and tell her that I needed her back. I could imagine how she’ll be panting when I’d be holding her so close to me. She’ll probably turn red.

“Sri, enough of your day dreaming!” said my Mum.

I got up from the sofa realising that Bhuvi had left already. Appa was heading back to the camp. I was going to drop him off at the Railway station. It was always bad when it comes to ‘Goodbyes’. But I had never shown how I felt because I knew that Dad would break down if I did so. We both headed to the Railway station.

Appa had to be there at 8 PM and in spite of heavy traffic we were there by 7.36 PM, you would know that it was early if you know Chennai and it’s mad traffic.
I made sure to buy Appa a couple of Bananas in addition to Amma’s perfectly prepared Sambar idly. I also bought him REPORTER and JUNIOR VIKADAN, so that he had enough content to discuss with the other passengers on board and wouldn’t be bored and also a bottle of water. My Dad hates borrowing of any kind and so he had been conscious to pack everything that he’ll ever need where ever he goes. The train arrived sharp at 7.55 PM and I placed all the baggage right above his seat and reminded him that he has the socks in the right zip of the travel bag, because Dad hates A.C but he also hated to travel in other than 1st Class compartments.

“Sridev, boy behave good. And better concentrate on B.E. more than anything for now, okay?”

“Dad, yes I will and you take care”

“And is there any girl in your life?”

“Dad”, I was stunned.

“You seem too dreamy these days like a poor little puppy, is there any distraction?”

“Dad… no” I was rambling.

“Well that’s good then” he said in a tone that terrified me.

“Take care of your Mum and sister; I will be back in January. And this is for you, you have grown up and I’m glad to have given you the right present, right when you’ll need it”

He gave a little present wrapped in an adorable blue with ribbon. The label read, “To my son”. He wouldn’t tell me what it was and he didn’t want me to open it until I had reach home. He hugged me and tapped my shoulders twice saying,

“Take care, Son”

The had train left. Our eyes were mushy but we didn’t show. Typical Dad-son attitude isn’t it.

I was home and I had totally forgot about the present. I was a little worried about college. Mum and Arathana seemed really happy as though they were anticipating the new season of Vani Rani. I gave a “what is wrong with you people” kind of look and walked past them. I went in and locked my room. It had just been 30 seconds and I was  half way through removing my shirt and then mum and Arathana were damming at my door. I was a little well, umm a lot actually  agitated.

“Ma, what’s bothering you? ”

“Sri, didn’t Appa give you any present?”

“Present? What present”

“He didn’t give you…. well, any tiny box?”

“Oh! Yeah” I gave them the box, taking it out of my pocket.

“Well open it, will you”

I opened it, tearing the beautiful blue warping after being impatient to slowly remove it. It was a key and it was craved “Royal Enfield” on it. I was feeling way more than what the word “stunned” signified. I was a little nervous. They walked me out blindfolded and on the side yard, under a grey cover was my new, White Continental Gt. I was in tears. It was incredibly awesome. And the next moment Appa ringed.

“Hey Sridev, how do you like Appa’s gift?”

“Pa, I love it. Thank you!”

“I knew that you’ll like it and the girl
would like it too, eh?”

“Appa”, we both giggled.

I took Amma to a ride on it and of course, Arathana too. I never thought of asking Appa for a bike because Ragu has one and I was comfortable  with him, taking me to the college. It is wired to understand fathers.
They’ll react composed for the things that we fear what would turn into a wild fire and would blast us for the petty issues. I couldn’t wait to take Appa with me to a ride. Well, you wouldn’t believe me if I said so. But I really do want to take him on a ride and then Shaina. I couldn’t wait to have Shaina in the back seat and play “Thallipogathe” but I really didn’t expect to be hit by a truck though.

August 2017

The college reopened and I, like a hero, entered in Royal Enfield. Everyone’s eyes are on me well, on the bike. I couldn’t ’t wait to see Shaina, as my junior. And the real game started. The whole college, literally the freshmen, juniors, seniors everyone was staring at the bike. I felt like Tom Cruise. I walked a few steps past the bike but I intentionally came back to check and style my hair in the mirror and I certainly double checked if I had locked it perfectly. I felt proud to stand a foot aside and stare at the bike, man isn’t she a beaut! I couldn’t wait to see Shaina. Probably I should get her WhatsApp number. The hall way busy as it used to be, on the first day of the semester. Fresher’s were seen everywhere they were indeed hysterical and it was evident in their faces. Some were searching for their classes and some were wondering if they would recognize their old bees there. Some checking out each other, boys checking out girls and girls; other girl’s apparel and accessories. And I was looking for Shaina. I was literally scanning the nook and corner of the hallway and I really couldn’t find her. And out of nowhere Ragu showed up and he rushed me to some random class.

“Ragu why are we here?” I was exasperated.

“HOD wanted me to guide the students to the auditorium next hour, I suggest you to do the job but also be here this hour too. Thank me later”

he left before I could neglect his plea with a wink.

Why the hell was I going to thank him, I would be blasting him for making me mad. I had to go find Shaina. I was still looking for Shaina and Bhuvi. If he comes, I could ask him to be here while I go check for her. Man I was going to kill Ragu for that until,

“May…”

I was looking down at the entrance trough the window when I heard the voice. I wondered who it would be and it was as though the voice froze after ‘May’. Then I turned and it was Shaina, my weirdo. Right the instant I was  on cloud nine. She was in a red top and blue denim and she was carrying a blue backpack. She had grown a bit but not certainly enough to at least match my shoulders and had changed her specs frame man, it was poise and that pony tail! She had done some curly curly thing to her hair to add… well glam to that coarse plaits and I was glad that it had worked but still, that cotton candy had not left the naive.

Then I knew why Ragu told me to thank him later. That sweet bastard! Seeing her was like a dream come true, as though my desert had finally received a monsoon. I stepped forward, nearing her. I stood so close to her as I could feel her panting. I leaned down, as she was short and I asked,

“May….?”

She seemed a little annoyed and turned away and walked past me, I couldn’t be happier.

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**© V.Shilpa and https://shilpasrecitals.wordpress.com/, [2019 2020]. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to V.Shilpa and https:/shilpasrecitals.wordpress.com/ with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.*

---

 

 

Chapter 16 Contradiction

Meant to be…
By, Veera.

As much as I was agitated by her words, I also wanted to declare my love to her, to that nerd, weirdo. And I also wanted so desperately to remind her that  was ‘The Sridev’, the don of her entire high school era, well there, exceptions has to be made for 11^th and 12^th grade though.

It was hard to figure where life was taking me to be honest.

We all plan and plot our lives right after the 10^th grade or 12^th but we often intend to forget that life is meant to ‘live’ in the “moment.”

Bhuvi wanted to pursue CA but he had pursued Engineering with me. My Dad wanted to be a Doctor but he was in Indian Army. My mum wanted a not-so-unavailable husband and look who she got married to! My father initially wanted me to join Army but well, mum was the deciding authority. She wanted me to make a good, content Civil Engineer. To top all that, look at me now. I hated love, I was not interested in a serious relationship and I never believed in love but then,  I was literally following a girl, who was with her father and it was the first thing that I was doing that day. 

Well I need to track her down and sort the conflict.

Life will never give you second chance ‘twice’

Well it is ridiculous. If I really needed a second chance I could have done anything to persuade her right?  Well promised myself not ask excuses because it will be so stupid, if I let her go again.

She has taught me many things, I learnt to enjoy the smallest things in her presence, and she taught me to value my parent’s efforts a little more than I used to. Every day with her, was a dream come true. 
I still remember collecting things from her secretively, to make memories. Right from stealing her lolly pop, Ink pens and those 64 ribbons! One day I’ll show all that to our son and tell him how stupidly, idiotically, insane I was, in love with his mother!

Horn!

I was an inch away from hitting her car, and had almost crashed actually.

Her car went inside some huge building, it was crowded. We had followed her meaning, along with Ragu. We were suddenly stopped by the watchman and his face seemed familiar and I didn’t know why. I was actually quite kind of puzzled, because I didn’t know how I knew this man. He stopped us and he went to say,

“Where is your ID card?”

I was flushed. Where is my what? I had to follow her and she was already gone past my eyesight and the guy whom I thought I knew asked me for the ID card! Who the hell was this man, and why was he asking my ID card?

“Sorry but why are you asking me for an ID card?”

“Son, do want to go in or what? This is your College’s custom, don’t you know that?”

“What!”

I looked up to the name board and it said “SNN college of Engineering”. My jaw dropped. This was where I pursue that course that I dislike and SHE was joining there too! That was certainly not a second chance but a whole damn innings.

What an amazing start to the newest phase of my life!

I had cried. Why should I meet him right when I’m determined to move on? That was my newest venture and I did not want my past to collide and crumble my future. And by ‘past’, I meant him. I cried at the very moment that I saw him and was panting like some huge ice berg struck right into the heart. I couldn’t not actually face him.

We have actually talked for hours without even uttering a word, yes, we have actually lost in each other’s eyes. I have once struggled to look right into those sparkling, extremely sharp eyes, those eyes; that could kill me without shedding a drop of blood or tearing a pound of flesh from my body. With those eyes I fell in love for the first time, with those eyes I found a new reason to be merry and with those eyes, I drained in love madly that I nearly lost myself.

Those were the eyes that I had once longed to see, to stare at, to cry with; but, when I had those sparkles alluring for me, I neglected it.

Life is strange.
I literally could not face those killer eyes because I was not sure if I could hold my emotions with such delicate mask of hatred. My heart was heavy with agony and scars of the past I and I could not show it. I needed to conceal them all. If I did reveal them, then I would lose. I was so nervous and irritated because that song played. I couldn’t control the tears that I wanted to cry for one last time screaming but I could never let my Dad know. I was almost happy that I said those words to him.

 My Dad was so stubborn that I had to study Engineering and that too in this college specifically, because he liked it, just as simple as that! Well this one seemed too be big, like enormous!
I had secured enough marks to confirm my admission through the phone. So it was confirmed that I’ll be spending my next 4 years there, in Chennai.
Chennai, I loved the city but I hated to even hear his name again. Man! Sona also got in, fortunately because I couldn’t even have survived the thought of being there without her and she cannot too. My dad had to go talk to the officials about college and he asked us to go get the admission form filled up. It was provided by some bunch of seniors and they had volunteered to do this.

“Shaina let’s go quickly get the admission form and then we shall check out this place”

“Yes I really need to find out where the canteen is”

“Hope it’s near the classroom”

“Yeah”

We engaged in such happy and pure laughter. My heart felt light then. We headed straight to the counter. And first I had to get my admissions filled up because she insisted me to, I just didn’t know why. The queue was long; we had to wait for about fifteen minutes. And finally my turn came,

“Name please”

I opened my vocal cord to answer but who had asked the question made me strangle instead. It was him. For God’s sake it was bloody him and that meant that he would be there and will be there all 4 years well, not four years technically but two! I didn’t know what was happening but I did know that all that was going to be funny.

“Excuse me, your name please”

And that was too much, I thought to myself. But I couldn’t control the laughter. It was strange because  an hour ago, in the signal I was so furious that I wanted to slap him but then, when I saw him, face to face I couldn’t hide my smile. This was totally weird and so anomalous. With that unhid smile in my lips, I said,

“It’s…it’s Shaina”

“Oh nice name, could you please spell it out?”

Man I could not control my laughter and so couldn’t he. He laughed half way through asking it.

“It’s S H A I N A”

I told him without looking at him; I couldn’t look into his eyes, obviously. And he filled up the rest of the info without even asking me. Photocopies that I submitted helped him with the 10^th and 12^th marks and percentage. He of course knew my… well everything. But he asked me one thing though,

“Which stream?”

“Civil Engineering”, I told with a regret in my tone that which was too evident.

He suddenly looked up, and stared for a second at me with an extreme euphoria in his face. It was clear in his eyes but I didn’t know why. He then gave me the form, extending his magnified bicep arm saying,

“Well, best of luck junior”

Chapter 15 They Meet!

Meant to be…

By, Veera.

 Summer 2017  

The best asset that I had inherited from my parents had always been books. I had an intimate relationship with books. They just let me evolve with new endeavours every time I open a new book. Sometimes I just indulge in contemplation, of how great life would be if it all happened just like the printed words. Aren’t we all got instantly traumatised watching “Ink heart?” Well, except for the fact it’s ‘not’ a rom-com we would definitely want such amusement to happen in our lives.

Well, I had not been reading “The Notebook” to love such amusements but Chemistry and Maths books that made me want to hate my life. It was hard to attain 197+ cut of when you were in love. Well in my case, a disaster. Why because, even that ‘vampire series’ sounded better than my love story. When one narrates his/her love story, it should make the listener awestruck; making him jealous that he wants to fall in that “not so cool as it may sound” pit too. My love icons have always been the Obamas. How loving and supportive they have been in each other’s lives? They stood together when they had nothing and when they have everything, they are embracing it together. Wouldn’t we all at some point in life wish for love like theirs?  At least I did. Well sometimes I just wished to think and aim beyond my own grounds like Bangalore, Christ University, and triple major. Wouldn’t that have been awesome and the best way to let go the past; new environment, new people and a whole new city. I was already excited but my parents? They wanted me to become an IRS but pursue Engineering first and that too in Chennai. Satan was inside my house and I was rather safe outside! I knew that he was in Chennai and about Riya, only through the Instagram.  I had lost contact with Bhuvaneshwar and Suhail, his friends. I was not intending to get trapped in Chennai in the name of higher studies, not even in my wildest dreams.

I was just 14 hours from the results being announced. was I nervous? Well, hell yes. It was nerve wrecking. Unlike last time, he wouldn’t be able to check my results, well he wouldn’t have checked last time too. Who knows, maybe he did, maybe he didn’t. He might not even remember me. I couldn’t actually forget him. Everything that I saw, that was concrete and not so concrete reminded me of him. The mall, parking lot, my scooter, Shawn Mendes’ music, the maestro’s melodies, and “Thallipoagthe” man what a great song that was.  The fact that I wasn’t fond of it listening to the starting bit and loved it when I listened to the whole song proved how impatient I am. We were both online and had played the song together.  I really didn’t like the starting bits and told him that I didn’t like it but he said, “Shut up and listen”. Well I did the same; I had to listen to him, to his words for he was important to me. Since then, the song become “our song” like it was meant to us. It was 2015 and it’s been 2 years since that had happened. Nowadays when I listen to it in the TV or on air or anywhere I just frown. Time does change people and their perception on things and at times, even on people! I actually did consider myself lucky to have had him in my life ad I thought that one day, he’ll be mine and I’ll be his.

“Shaina, if you want, I can help”

“Don’t you even dream about it! I’m never coming to you to learn, even if my Dad appoints you as my tutor.”

“Wouldn’t it be funny if I was your tutor?”

I just wanted to understand the concepts and the rest I can follow.

“Will it be okay if I voice mailed you the concepts and the rest I know that you can follow”

“Really, well someone’s got brains”

“Shaina if you had it why would you need my favour?”

That’s it, he hurt my ego.

“I don’t need your help Sridev; I will figure it out on my own”, I said with huge egoistic anger.

“Shaina, don’t be so egoistic with me, spill the email id”

“shaina2000@gmail.com”, I didn’t look at him while I said this.

“Oh wait, I can’t send voice messages in email, it’ll be tough attaching those files”

“So, I’m clueless then”

“Or you can give me your whatsapp number and I could easily send voice messages there, don’t you think?”

He was that cheesy and smart and I was that dumb to fall for his every smart missions. He irritated me as well, with that one habit of his that I always got furious with,  he always used to pull the ribbons off my plaits and I had to buy a new one every week. I didn’t know what he did with all those, that stupid guy. But, how idiotic I must have been to fall for that stupid guy? 78 out of 100 voice messages would not be about maths, but it depicted our Chemistry. But with the rest 22, he made me understand, understand the topic; Chemistry! Umm, I meant the subject.

It’s 10 AM and the results are out, I have scored really well. My cut of is 198. I am shook. And I’m kind of proud too because, I pulled this off with such mental-stress. Appa is happy, and so is Amma. Appa was calling all his friends and advertising like any father would do, that I have scored good marks. Relatives are all happy that for the next few years I will be the hot topic in all the chats in the family functions.  

Dad had got me an application from PSG, Krishna, Mahalingam and other Engineering colleges while I wanted to do a non-complex degree in Bangalore. My parents were so certain in voting “No” for Bangalore because of the cultural degradation but for me, it’s all within us to give in to that hazardous environment or to come out of it in style. I had always loved the city not just because I watched “Bangalore Days” but for its heritage. I and Sara had been planning to attend the same college no matter what. Sona was definitely getting into PSG, and well the next day Sara, I and Dad will be heading to Chennai, after a month of argument that I won’t be studying in Chennai to which they didn’t lend their ears or their time.

My 2017

The clouds were clear that day, the sun was shining and so would she be. Result had got out yesterday and I was sure that she would have score good grades but the fact that she ‘kills’ maths terrified me. That Kola bear would have forgotten me long ago. I knew how egoistic she was and how much she hated me all these times. It had been two damn years and it had gone by too soon. I was in the second year  and the college ‘didn’t actually come under my control.  Well, when my heart was not under my control, when my mind was wandering as it liked; how the hell would a college will, consisting 5000 students be under my spell?

June 2017

It was June and it was still firing. It was like I wa going to melt in the summer and become a dwarf. Going to the college in the super-hot summer was becoming a difficult task each and every time.  Even the petrol in the vehicle would evaporate because of the heat.

“Ma, I need another Dosa”

“Will it reach your plate flying?”

I went into the kitchen embarrassed, after Mom’s words but demanded a half-boiled egg without being broken as a “premium” for studying something that I totally hated.

“Ma, why isn’t she doing anything? You should teacher her household chores Mum”, I said to irritate Arathana who had been acting like she was asleep till then because Mum would ask her to do things. She got up hurriedly and started to battle with me. We were literally fighting and she was so competitive that I had to gulp my Omelette and rush off the house. Sisters!

Ragu and I were now regularly on bike to the college, we ditched the bus. We were stuck in the traffic, maybe I should have rushed. But I was discussing with Ragu how Riya had become a pain in the back nowadays with her, treating me like she would treat a boyfriend. She was constantly telling me what to do and what not to do and I thought she was on this strange bet with someone to take me off the track of cinema, which I extremely hated. I was literally lamenting to Ragu and  he was laughing.  We were in the signal waiting for the light to turn green. “Thallipogathe” was on the radio in the car just beside me. Listening to the song, I thought about her, obviously. I didn’t know where and how she was, but right that instant if I could see her, I’ll play this song and the song alone and the pain in my eyes, would convey enough of what I was intending to say. ‘Ah man, teenage was awesome; no complications, no burdens and certainly zero maturity to think of it all’ I suddenly thought to myself.

Suddenly the song turned off. I was upset for a second but I was not supposed to show it after all, it was someone’s car.

“Shaina, why did you turn off the song? Please put it on” asked, someone from the car.

I could hear it, so could everyone in here. Seemed like they too liked the song, how tasteless she must be. Wait, Shaina? With some sort of extreme ecstasy in the heart and suddenly rooted hope in the eyes, I turned to the side with the same love that I had for her that night, at that party. She was in the front seat. She turned back and gave a harsh glare at her friend. And suddenly she looked at me and turned like a flash after nearly staring at each other for over two minutes. Our eyes met, after two whole years. Seeing her, looking at her was like a dream come true. To look at her in person and to have a peek at her chubby pink cheeks and that coarse hair which was neatly combed, all over again felt so good. And she changed her specs. She had lost weight; I could see that in her face. She must have worked hard; it was obvious in her dark circles.

She was panting after seeing me; the glass had her breath tracks evaporated all over it. She must have be nervous, well so was I and happy and glad that she was here. Her Mum and brother were not with her so this visit was for her college counselling. The very sight of her was feeling like everything was fast revered to the night at that party. Wouldn’t it be awesome if I could do that? She must have be happy too, to see me.

“Shaina, you used to love this song, what happened now?” asked her father,

“Put it back on”, argued her friend whose name I was unaware of.   

“I don’t love it anymore Dad, I hate it” she said looking right into my eyes, she said this to me, in response to my unasked questions. She then laid her head on the door, her eyes closed. I was hurt and furious at the same time. I was so curious that I wanted to get her out of the car and shout at her that I loved her that I had always loved her. Right from the moment we accidentally exchanged that CD, from throwing the threads in exam hall, from following her to her house that night, to seeing her accept a rose from a stranger, who was supposedly not a stranger as I thought to be, till the very moment where I saw her right in front of me, hurt and disappointed, I loved her. 

I was so hurt that tears rushed in my eyes, I looked at her, she suddenly lifted up and looked at me, her eyes were moist too. She stared at me for 20 seconds straight; it felt like twenty damn years. She just poured everything through this 20 second stare everything, how much she loved me, how much she was hurt and how hurt she was right that moment. Where was she heading? Did her Dad get any transfer? was she going to study in Chennai? I had a lot of questions in my mind. But for then, I just followed her. I needed to know where she was heading. Her tears proved that she was real, how could I miss someone like her in my life? I wouldn’t certainly get another Kola bear from Coimbatore who steals my heart completely, everytime.

Cupid was not drunk at that time, he must have been high.

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**© V.Shilpa and https://shilpasrecitals.wordpress.com/, [2019, 2020]. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to V.Shilpa and https://shilpasrecitals.wordpress.com/ with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.**

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Chapter 14 Thought process.

Meant to be…

The real love story of the unreal 21^st century!

By, Veera.

said Paulo Coelho, my most favourite author. But I didn’t wish for any dream, but reality. Wishing for your first love to fade away like the autumn wind was not a dream it was an agony; pure, strong agony that could never be healed. But I did, I wished for his memories to not fade away, but to just vanish in a second because my entire body, mind and each nerve and bones were exhausted, as the ultimate hell of a teenager’s life would be losing your first love or so I had always thought.

It had been almost a year since we had parted ways, he parted from me and maybe it was the time to talk, to settle things between us because with this consistent longing for someone who’s not worth it, was just a waste of time. I needed to concentrate more on C++ than Sri++, but my brain thought other wise. Java was no more interesting, it was rather infuriating than earning my interest to learn more. And it was not just because of love.

“Ping” (Message notification)

My dad took the phone and he read the message. His eyes widened, my heart was pounding while I was biting my nails.

“Shaina, your scores are too good”, congratulated my Dad.
Yes, it was not a message from Sri. Yes, I had scored well thattime, ‘that time’? Because I had been depressed about him in the past and  could not concentrate on studies but  since I heard that he had moved on, I decided to concentrate on my goals too. It was tough, it was hard but it was not impossible to look after myself and not trouble my own body and mind for someone who was not there; literally. Life has to move on after all. I tried messaging him but he didn’t care to reply. I was devastated to be honest but not anymore, at least not to the world.

“My daughter will have to become an IRS officer, her future will be contented!”, revealed my father.

“Vijay, she is ‘our’ daughter, let me also decide for herself”, my mother had interrupted.

“Don’t I have the liberty to decide for myself”, I put forth my prosecution raging from upstairs. 

“Well, let us hear what you would like to become then”, said my dad in a calming voice.

 “Well, Dad and Mom for now my only aim is to try and work hard and accept that extreme toil and find a way to become Shawn Mendes’s girlfriend.”

The room filled in extreme laughter as I was smiling from the outside.

 

I could not dare either to talk to Shaina or to let go Riya. I was terrified on what would Riya do if I ever left her, but it is not love, it never “was” and it would never be. Human mind is a complex machine, I must say. It’s a bundle of uncertainty.  Uncertainty in life, goals and in love.

 

 I didn’t reply to Shaina nor have I had the guts to take the phone and call her. ‘What will I say ? That I’m doing favours to Riya on pity?’ I kept asking this question to myself.

 

**© V.Shilpa and https://shilpasrecitals.wordpress.com/, [2019, 2020]. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to V.Shilpa and https://shilpasrecitals.wordpress.com/ with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.**

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Chapter 13 Cupid’s Game

Meant to be…

The real love story of the unreal 21st century!
By, Veera.

 

God has not given us this beautiful life as Humans just to regret upon the struggles and challenges and to quit.
He has given this life to us because he knew that we would be strong and capable to finish this race in style. I myself, I was suicidal and only Bhuvi knew this part of me. I was suicidal because of my family wound not understand my dreams of pursuing Cinema and Photography. But she did, and so did my friends, they were supportive in every way possible. Shaina, she would encourage me by being competitive, we both we used to take pictures just to prove who was better but I would always win but she never accepted her loss. Somewhere or the other, the universe was proving me again and again that I should not let of go her; Shaina, my first love.

 

“Man, I have no idea either but I just want to know if she survived”, I said while my eyes kept searching for
Ragu.

“Don’t be such a pessimist man”, said Bhuvi even though he knew the courteousness of the situation.

“And don’t be too terrified by Riya’s father, if anything’s gone wrong, then it’s for me not for you or anyone else so calm down. I just want to talk to Riya once”

Every one of her relatives was inside the hospital and around. I just needed a word with her. Why did she do this? Was it because of the embarrassment that she got out of that slap? Or is it because of the fact that “I” said no? I need to know. And to my goodness, I saw Ragu. He was seated right outside the room where Riya must have been admitted supposedly. Our principal, her father, her uncle, her whole family was out the verandah discussing seriously. I was clicking my tongue. I need to meet her and talk to her once. On seeing us creeping through the back entrance, Ragu headed straight to us, now that I was  scared what if he knows what had happened?

“Guys, Riya drank poison because her father scolded her on scoring low marks”

He was clueless, that was for sure. I didn’t ’t exactly know what to do, to be happy that no one knew what had happened or to feel guilty because I was keeping a terrible secret from my friend. I finally told everything to Ragu. I could not hide anything anymore.  

“There is nothing wrong that you have done Sri, but I’m glad you told me this but don’t be petrified anymore, she is ok and we will be going home tonight”

I was happy and I felt fortunate to have not lost this friend of mine. I couldn’t be happier on a bad day like this to realise that the ‘bad’ is off the hook.

“But I must say, Shaina is one lucky girl Sri, you really love her”, said Ragu.

I smiled hiding the my thought 
‘I haven’t had her, ever nor will I ever have her’
But with that, I begged Ragu that I had to meet Riya and to sort things out with her.

“Sri, you haven’t seen my uncle, he is as tall as you and his one slap equals to John Caen’s shot so listen to me clearly, don’t try to near Riya here, I will take you to her house or I’ll somehow do something but I need you to be careful here, if anyone here comes to know the truth, we will be buried then”, said Ragu in his most relevantly courteous tone.

Though I was pretty shook, I tried to talk to her in every way possible. It suddenly had started raining, man! Everything around me reminded me of her, stupid me.

‘If she was with me right now, I would pull her close to me, have a strong hold of her hips so that she stays close to me, look right into her eyes and I would serve her sharp jawline with a heavy uppercut for troubling me so much with the memories’ I had wished, many times.

And to give a pause to the memory lane, there she was Riya, getting inside the car, while her dad held the umbrella for her, his eyes were moist. And I was the one who had caused such agony to her and her entire family and I still wonder,
“Am I that handsome?”

I surely couldn’t go that far to Riya’s house to talk with her because then it would become late as it wil lead her father to bury me in his garden and my Mom will kick me out of the house. I needed to sort things out that day else, I felt like wouldn’t sleep. We, well myself, Bhuvi and Ragu we were hiding behind a huge banyan tree resting on some bikes, anticipating a chance to talk to her. And right in front of me, her car went away, I was in deep sigh.

“Sri”, I  had heard a feeble voice calling me suddenly.

When I turned, it was her, Riya. Her eyes were restless I could see them, her cheeks still were red, her lips were dry. I didn’t know why I cared. I could not utter a word but I had said in a cracked voice,

“I.. I’m.. I’m really sorry, I shouldn’t have slapped you. That caused you to hate your own life, I’m sorry”

“I hated my life because I could not see you in pain, when you slapped me, I understood how serious you are about Shaina but it also makes me worry about you, how loyal you are to someone who left you so easily and realising the fact that you would rather love her, than me; was frustrating and right that moment I could not think of anything else but to quit this life. You have nothing to be guilty about. I will be okay. Don’t blame yourself for anything ”, she had said that with teary eyes but strong voice.

I could clearly see the love she had for me, my heart actually melted. Bhuvi was thunderstruck, Ragu was dammed. Their jaws dropped just like Shaina’s when we met in the exam hall. And yes, I could not get rid of her even then.

“Riya, I’m nowhere near the phase where I can forget Shaina and move on. But, I will try to do so. I will be a good friend to you from now on and a well-wisher who you can look up to”, I said in the most respective tone ever.

And then, she went back to the car lieing to her father that she went to take her shawl that she forgot to pack back in the room.

It was 10 PM and it was still raining and I almost feel like I’ve got the best reason to forget and move on from Shaina. Ragu was happy that everything was sorted and I was too. Bhuvi dropped me off and I, almost after 46 minutes of begging, had convinced my Mum to cook dinner for me.

‘Maybe ‘I could’ move on from Shaina. Riya, the ‘Regina George’ of our college who has it all was into me!’ I had thought.
Cupid was definitely having fun looking over my life.

“Ping”, I received an instagram notification. And it read,

“Message request from

“Shaina_princess”

“Hey, Sri how r u doing”

“I heard that you shifted, I mean to Chennai”

 

“You didn’t even care to let me know this. On the day of the party I was waiting for you. It would have been a  special day in our lives but you didn’t show up. I was waiting there with my cousin, he even enacted me how you would present me a bouquet but it didn’t happen for real. I was devastated. What were you thinking after all, when we literally shared moments, but it seems as though it never mattered to u”

I had been, a moment ago manipulating my mind to somehow commit to Riya so that I would move on from Shaina and I thought that I actually deserved some love. Only one sentence came right in my mind and that was,

“Is this Cupid drunk?”

What am I supposed to do now?

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