Chapter 2 Book 2

“Meant to be”

The WebNovel…

…His eyes meant to say “I’m Sorry”

I looked away as the song ended. When the Signal finally went “green” my eyes were still wet. His eyes still hoped for mine to forgive him but while my heart was still heavy. Eyes still mushy, I felt difficult to see anything but was determined to leave that place.

Raising the accelerator, I marched forward. I knew that he was following me, probably thought to pursue me; having had to narrate his part of the story right from the 12th farewell party at Sahil Anna’s house. But, it was too late for a formal explanation and an apology. 

We were almost travelling parallel on the Road. And when I looked back and he looked forward, our eyes stuck in the moment. His, seeking forgiveness and mine expressing disappointment, whilst hands controlling each other’s vehicle. That instant, I felt like the world moved slower, as though the whole planet’s rate of circle around the sun paused for us. That 30 seconds was personal, it was our moment of ‘privacy’, that I was completely satisfied with; just his presence in the whole wide world.

The anger, the despair and all the bitter feelings in my heart had vanished. I only felt love.

I relived the feeling that I went through when he helped me with the scooter and how he managed to make sure that I reached safely. The butterflies that I had when his hands touched mine whilst he fought with me to steal my ribbon re-entered my body. That look of expectation which filled our hearts and eyes with love and convincing feelings overwhelming through our eyes stroked the heart again. Falling in a well of mystic love that numbed the thoughts had almost frozen my brain that time. Two years of utter longing and agony to hear his voice, to be spell bound by those striking eyes finally had come to an end. Before I could break the ice and cry to him that I had always needed him more than I ever knew, I got hit and I was thrown in the air. Because he was right next to me, just one ft. behind, that car hit him too, leading to fall, this time the fault was not his. That moment was dramatic. Our eyes were still on each other. I almost saw death taking me over and I

“Why wouldn’t he leave me in peace even at death? And why the hell am I living the song??? (Thalli Pogathey!!)”

I didn’t know what happened but I passed out in a minute after that. And the last thing I had seen was his eyes.
A day and a half after that, I woke up. I felt as though I was haemorrhaging inside the brain. I couldn’t see anything. My ears hurt with every sound that I heard. I passed out again. And after four hours, I regained consciousness. Then, the head hurt a little less and I could hear much better. Still, my vision was blurry. But, I had complete consciousness then. I did not speak a word. The first thought that hit the mind was, if he was okay. I needed to figure if he was fine. Without my request or want, someone helped me get up and made me lay on the pillow. I sat there, half slouching, and put my head hanging. My head still hurt for about 10 minutes. I had my head on the edge of the bed as it felt better. Rubbing my forehead I told Sara hoping that it was her, who helped me with laying back;

“Sara, I need to know if Arjun is ok” and I gave a pause saying that. 

“And try as much not let my parents know, use my card for the bills” and continued “If Appa gets to know, he will ground me forever”
She did not speak back. It felt weird.

“I’m okay and your parents already know”

“Hmm…” I said initially with a peaceful sigh.And then my brain went “Eh…”

I looked up, only to find him, standing right in front of me. I was short of words. But, I was relieved that he was fine. He came nearer and sat beside me. The red coloured stool made a funny noise and was seemingly in need of a quick replacement. As I did not intend to make eye contact, I decided to scan the room. My clothes were all neatly arranged in the half closed cupboard. My then most expensive possession, Fast track watch was shattered; I could barely find any needle in it. Appa’s ring that I used to wear and which I still wear along the chain was scratched. I only had the hospital gown on; which did not cover all the length of my first-time waxed legs. That heavy, gaudy smelling blanket that I could never forget annoyed me so much. My head suddenly hurt again. I had bruises all over the hands, head and my left leg got fractured. I was slouching again. I felt awkward to stay that close to him. It was awkward and sadly strange. That man, who was once my favourite boy in the whole world, was part of my day, night, was also the cause of my laughter and the inducer of my tears.

He was my Sun, and then I almost felt like Pluto.

Like I needed and destined to stay away as far as I can, from my very own Sun. Love was round the corner in my life but my heart was so not ready for heartbreak again.                                                                                                                                                   
Days passed. The doctor had suggested a week in hospital but I pestered Arjun and we were going to discharge that day. He was packing everything while I sat there, on the bed not knowing what to do.
“I’ve talked to Sara and she is handling situations at home” he said.

“Thank you” I made sure to make it sound as ignorant and as annoying as possible. 

“And the Doctor said that your recovery rate is quite good. So, don’t stress. It should not take more than a couple of weeks for you to return to your regular schedule,” he said with such concern and I only nodded my head in reply.
“You should not be worrying about the notes too. I can tutor you,”

“If you would like that” he said hesitantly. And those words made me furious. I was so angry that I instantly had enough energy to smash his head against the creepy window that made funny noises every time he opened them. His vision annoyed me and so did his words.

“Enough of your drama Arjun, you are really getting into my nerves”


“I said stop all this nonsense now! Stop acting like you care, stop acting like you know and stop acting like you are innocent! Stop this bullshit!”

“Do you even hear what you are saying?”

“Well, Yes I do!” I started screaming at him. I was so ferocious that I did not think while I uttered those words.

“I know that you used me just because you were so sure that I had feelings for you”

“Used you?” he grew even more ferocious.

“Yes! If it is not real, you wouldn’t have left me without even caring to let me know that bloody valid reason. You thoroughly enjoyed my company as long as you could and left like anything”

“Shaina you’re words sounds like absolute nonsense”

“Nonsense?” he was about to be killed!

“Well I think so” I could sense a bit of “taken aback” in his voice. 

“Leaving me at the balcony, waiting and waiting for you was nonsense to you wasn’t it?”


“For two fucking years, I have been crazy; gone mad just because of the pain you have caused me,”

“You were waiting for me?”

“So you didn’t even care to show-up?”

“No I did show-up”

“So you did come there, and saw me waiting for you and just didn’t care to say that you were moving?”

“It was not that simple Shaina”

“Well, how difficult was it to break the heart of an idiot who fell head over heels for you?”

“I came there that night hoping to confess how I felt about you. But, when I came there, I saw you with a boy. He was wooing you and you seemed to be enjoying his company. And only after that I saw your Instagram messages, I understood that it was you cousin, Harsh.”

“What? So you saw the messages and did not care to reply and still decided to be in an affair with Riya?”


“Oh please Arjun, the whole college knows about you guys!”

“And you believe so too?”

“Like you believed that I was with some boy at the balcony?”

“You know that these circumstances aren’t the same Shaina”

“On what criteria are distinguishing them then?”

“Riya is leaving the college. She knows that I still have feelings for you. She thinks that it wouldn’t be good for her to stay around.”

“So now, you guys are doing me a favour”

“What do you want, Shaina?”

“I don’t want to see you Arjun fucking Venugopal; I don’t want you near me”

“That would be impossible”

“You have made me suffer so much that the scars flash right in front of me when I even try to think of our good times”

“It was all a misunderstanding Shaina. We did not have a regular bonding to let you go that easily. Even if I let you go, memories won’t. Do you really think that I have been happy these two years?”

“Well, I certainly believe that you have been so content with your affairs” I said, with a tear dropping down though I tried so hard to hide it. 

To be continued… 

Meant to be…

Book 2 Chapter 1

– Veera.


October 2017

“Shaina, please be careful with those Ceramic vessels for Christ’s sake!” my Mum almost cried. 

“Sejal, don’t you know that she has registered the ‘patent’ for being the clumsiest?” Appa then joined in mocking me. Dust was dissimilated all over our new Chennai apartment and Appa did help in between his mocking and supervisioning us to arrange things. 

“Premam hasn’t left my mind yet papa” said Appa.

“Appa I haven’t forgotten about that movie too, hasn’t Nivin rocked that Character?” 

“I think yes,” he said and added; “Here let me give you a hand with it,” and we together pushed the TV table towards the wall. 

“Amma where should I put this pot?” I had to sort the immediate doubt of mine, because that plant bore beautiful Table Rose and I could not resist them. 

“I want them in my Office room” Appa barged in! 

“I want them in the hall or in the portico,” Amma had to make her point of argument. 

“No, I actua;ly want them in the Balcony; Pa, it would be perfect for our Saturday evenings, what do you think?” I made my point and Appa could not agree less. 

“This Father-Daughter bond has become your biggest flex Shaina!” my Mum had to utter her thoughts. We could only laugh and it was also a flex to be a single daughter. You see, I literally got the best of both the worlds, Mum’s pamperings and Dad’s privileges. 

“Well, having Ram brother here has become my biggest flex,” said Appa for Sara and her father, my occasional guardian, ‘Ram Uncle’ helped us with all the “Shifting” and “Arranging” things. 

“It’s almost 9 pm, better eat up now, else you both will be late for college tomorrow.” said Amma.

“Yes, we should.” Appa agreed. 

“And I can’t wait to drive a Vespa to College tomorrow dad, I’m extremely excited I actually love you. Thank You pa.” I said tucking in the blanket, pulling it up, till my nose. 

“Love you more papa, and now sleep. You have college tomorrow, I have Office tomorrow,” Appa said, his yawn making it obvious that he was so tired. 

After three months of College and Arjun and Sara and Akshay and Ruby; my dog brother, I was exhausted already. My inner-self kept on teasing me for growing mad whenever I saw Riya with Arjun, “Do you still love him?” was the constant question that my absurd mind kept asking me, 

“I’m not” has been my constant answer. I had to convince myself with such an answer. That phase of life was cruel, I had been feeling as though I was being haunted.

Haunted, by the fear of the future? What was I going to become, which profession was I going to choose?
How in the hell was I going to forget Mr Arjun Venugopal? And to top all that, how would I keep pretending like I had so much hate for him when I actually didn’t, when he was right around the corner, showing so much love, or that’s how I felt. At that phase of life, it was so challenging. I had to find myself wherein I was constantly pushed in the ocean of  messes. It was strange.

It was November. Of all the seasons that the Almighty has bestowed us upon it was the month that I hate, winter. You wake up to your alarm and you cannot dare to indulge in a morning bath to start your day. The cold reins you. The fog invites you to dance with it by its beautifully delicate feathers and alluring body like a dead-drop beautiful hot guy. But you only realise that it’s freezing cold when you take his hands. Instead of savouring your soft striking palm, the cold brings terrible agony! And so did him. Every time I saw him talking with Riya, I was pissed. I was so pissed that I could’ve killed him.

It was a Thursday. Sara had gone to Coimbatore that morning early around 8 AM as she had a family function. So I had to hit the college alone.  I tried as hard as I could to reach the college before 9.30 am but couldn’t. Waking up at 8.45 am certainly didn’t help much. And eventually, I got stuck in the traffic. I was wearing a Mustard-yellow and green top and ankle length denim, Yes, I had an awesome ‘Fashion sense’.

Whenever I had time, I never forgot to stop and cherish Appa’s gift. He had bought me a lavender Vespa. And like any girl would, I loved it and cherished it as long as I could. I remember teaching Sara two-wheeler driving. The neighbourhood had a number of stomach aching laughter as we ended up falling on the road once in every two days. I had also once taken Ruby to the Vet on it. Nobody could take their eyes off Ruby; he was an adorable Golden Retriever, who Appa, Amma and I loved dearly. And it’s significant to mention that he saved us from being robbed a couple of times as the burglars were scared of Ruby’s majestic appearance and his tissue-harming, deaf-making loud bark. Neighbouring Cheche stopped offering Puttu as her sleep pattern got interrupted because of Ruby’s incessant barks. It’s quite a funny story, Ruby’s. He makes a single bark and the dog at the street end barks twice, then he barks thrice and the Dalmatian in the next street joins the “I will not let you sleep” pack. And this story continues with me, shouting at Ruby every day. Half of my pocket money vanished buying him Drools. I should have raised him more humble and grounded. Even that day, he was having his breakfast when we left the house. We were discussing Ruby’s weird behaviour whenever he met Geetha Aunt’s Mini. His eyes grew wide whenever he saw her, they probably Zinged and I shouldn’t have let him watch that movie with me.

 It had almost become past 15 minutes in the traffic, in exhaustion, I was exasperated. To elevate my ‘happy mood’, Thalli Pogathey” my ‘then’ least favourite song was playing at the adjacent Tea shop’s radio.  I felt like an inflated balloon. Every part of my body felt so inflated and I wanted the world to stop messing with me. All that popped up in my mind at that time was that, of all the songs that the Cinema had produced, they had to play this song??!!!!

Hearing that song, memories flooded right back into the head. Standing there at the signal, carving for the signal to go green, I had a difficult time thinking about the past.

The clouds surprisingly reminded me of him. In the past, he was my Sun, without him, I wouldn’t bloom. Soon, he left me. And thus, I thought he came as the Clouds, disguised.

I remember that instant, the clouds were too heavy and they were growing dark. The weather became too cold and gloomy, while we were all stuck in the traffic! Everyone was concerned about reaching schools, colleges and offices on time but, still we had to wait for the bloody signal. With the cold setting in, the breeze gliding through the trucks, buses, cars and the School girl’s cycles; it reached me, it was a strong breeze. I felt that intensity; it touched me with the subtle but bewitching fragrance of the rain. I felt like Mother Nature was aiding me with the breeze, so that I won’t fall back to the past again. The leaves of the whatsoever trees left on the sidewalk danced to the breeze’s rhythm. Birds were seen all over the sky. They must have been in a hurry to find a good, warm place. They must definitely try Trivago though. Dogs were rushing in search of a safer shelter as it had almost started thundering. I was starting to get scared because I hated and I still am afraid of thunder and lightning. The cold breeze became chillier and the song was still on. And as the rain started pouring, I could sense every drop that poured, it washed away all the moisturizer that I had on. I promised myself to henceforth watch the weather broadcast before proceeding with the skin care routine.

The pleasing sound of the rain drops crashing the leaves and the school children laughing and screaming inside the school bus were the only consolation. Their laughter replaced the anxiety of the existing reality of the world.The Tea Shop Anna tuned up the volume. Me, drenching in the rain, forgot about college and the Python class. All that I was thinking about was him, and how I once used to crave for this song. We used to listen to this song as though it was written, sung and composed for us. Unknowingly, I started to sing along whilst admiring the sky and its cry. Suddenly, I felt tears falling down the cheeks. The song meant so much to me. In utter despair, I cried. I felt the physical pain in my heart. The stress got hold of my throat that it started to feel as though someone had put on a clamp in my throat. In addition to the mist and raindrops almost hiding the vision, the eyes filled with tears resembled the “hot tears” of Toru Dutt. With the dreadful agony and frustration, slithering deeper and deeper into heart, the eyes caught him. He was also there at the signal, only 10 feet apart. With all the hurt and anger and pain I looked at him, throwing r
esentful words in that look. His eyes seemed mushy too. Maybe he regretted what had happened in the past, or so I
read from his silent words. His eyes meant to say,

 “I’m Sorry,”

But, I was not sure if I could forget all that had happened. 

And Suddenly, “Shaina” shouted a voice from behind, and when I looked through the incessantly falling rain drops, nerve wrecking cold and the mist; it was Akshay! 

To be continued next weekend…

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